The last couple of months have been crazy! After what happened to Lucas I cant sleep. I have to say a prayer just to not have a dream about him dying in a different situation. Its a fire or a kidnapping. Its always something terrible and I cant stop it but its only in Tennessee. So I told Nick I needed my family. I had to go to Utah but with the lack of money I couldn't take a plane so I got us bus tickets. It seemed like a good idea at the time but little did I know my bus would be canceled in Kansas City and me and my 2 kids would be stranded. My family scrambled to help me and they came through! My sister bought me plane tickets and my mom called the near by LDS bishop or someone and got me a ride from the bus stop to the airport! I then flew to Phoenix where I almost missed my flight. BUT I didn't! I finally got to Utah and it was amazing! I needed my family! They know what to say to me and when to say it!! They know what I need to hear! I was out there for about a month then Nick came out for Sirius's 2nd Birthday party! We were so happy to see him. Then he missed his flight to go back to Tennessee. We ended up buying plane tickets for Nick and I back to Tennessee to pack up our stuff and get back to Utah as fast as possible! We have been unsuccessful! Its been so ridiculous out here! The price for gas to get to work and the bills we already have have exceeded the amount of money Nick is making. He was promised work but isn't getting it! We have about $400 in bills more then what we are making and now we cant save to get back to Utah. Its getting so bad we can hardly afford for Nick to even get to work! If I could list all of the problems out here NOT including finances it would still be a 2 page list! I can't wait to get back to Utah and I will not miss Tennessee. I will not miss the nightmares or miss driving down the road picturing Lucas walking to his death every time I leave. I will not miss the disgusting mess or having to walk through grass to my knees. I wont miss being attacked by bugs every time I open the door. I will not miss getting car sick every time I leave the house cause it takes a half hour to get anywhere and they are the windiest roads EVER! I will however miss visiting Lucas everyday and I will miss Jason, Amanda, Kaileigh, and Makenzie. That is what I will miss. I will never make the mistake of moving out here again. The longer I am here the more I resent moving here. I know Nick thought it would be a great opportunity and I hate that he was told it would be something it wasn't but just another lesson learned! I know this sounds like a hateful post and I am sorry for the negativity but if you could completely understand my situation you would understand that I am holding back!! I just can't wait to get back to Utah. I wish we could take Lucas with us but it just looks like it would add an extra $7-$13K to the moving expenses. So the goal is to get to Utah as soon as possible! I've tried to stay positive about this and will continue but at this point it hasn't done anything and people get their feeling hurt just hearing that I am happy in Utah so there is no point in trying to be happy to make other people happy anymore. Sorry for the rant and if you don't like what I've said I really don't care.
The boys asleep on the plane
The boys eating at the bus stop
Lucas's Blanket that Christina, MamaDonna, & Melissa worked so hard on!!
A couple of shots of the boys with family
Sirius trying to take Scotts cat..
Nicki and the boys.
Sommer with Sirius. I can't remember why but she needed to give him a bath and put clothes on him that didn't quite fit. haha
Braydon with my boys. I can't remember why they were all over him in this picture either but it we so cute!
Nicholas and Livvy playing outside. They did not want to come inside!
Sirius playing Melissa's piano.
Melissa taking pictures of the boys.
DADDY CAME!!! Sirius was the first to see him and he was so excited!!
Sirius was a little spoiled for his 2nd Birthday party and EVERYONE CAME!!
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